Go to homepage

After serving in Iraq, you returned to Hawaiʻi. What happened then?

When I came home, a lot was going on with me, you know. I was on a fast downward spiral, following in the footsteps of our Vietnam brethren, until ultimately, I wound up divorced and homeless. It was just me and my dog living in my tent at Kaena Point.

And I was content there alone because I couldn't transition back from a military war zone to civilian culture. The things that mattered to civilians didn't matter to me as much, because there were bigger things at play in my mind — like life or death.

Mahalo for being open about your past. How did you transition away from homelessness?

It was my Army buddies who came to find me. They sought me out, and they were like, “Sgt. Beair. We gotta get you out; you’re a good man.”

And I was like, “I just want to be left alone. I just saw too much.”

They pulled me back in and told me about this brand-new program for soldiers with PTSD. It was the Post-Traumatic Stress Readiness and Recovery Program at Tripler Army Medical Center.

My war buddies got me there, and it was a safe and supportive place for me to heal my unseen wounds

________________________________________________________________________________________________

It was during this period that you returned to school. Can you share what that was like?

I went into a homeless shelter and started getting treatment at the PTSD program. I got a job and went back to school. I got my Associate’s Degree. Then I got my Bachelor's Degree. While I was still at the shelter, I got my Master's Degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.

I moved out of the shelter, got my own place, and got my kids back where I could see them (regularly). I met my wife, Nancy, and life just started to go up and up and up.

There were two things that saved me: My own journey with therapy and counseling, and my own journey with Hawaiian culture. I found a me that wasn't forever broken. I was forever changed, but not forever broken. There is a big distinction there.

________________________________________________________________________________________________

It sounds like you experienced a cultural awakening. How did that transpire? 

During the Master's program, I was put into a practicum at a treatment center, and while I was there, met my Kumu (Lahela Kruse). She asked if I wanted to teach Hoʻoponopono curriculums on Oʻahu. (Editor’s note: Ho’oponopono is the Hawaiian practice of conflict resolution.)

I trained with my Kumu as a haumana/student in Puna, Hawaiʻi Island, where I got to see firsthand how Hoʻoponopono helped other people deal with their trauma, their substance abuse, and family issues.

And I was just blown away! Learning about how to live Hoʻoponopono was when everything came very much alive for me.

As you delved deeper into your Hawaiian roots, were there other pivotal moments?

Kumu and I spent a lot of time training, putting the pieces together, and accessing our Kūpuna/ancestors through pule, chant, prayer, and ceremony.

I remember standing at the shoreside one day. As the sun came up, it was the first time I called up my moʻokūʻauhau. The ocean spray had wet my body because we were so close to the ocean, and I was cold because it was around 5:30 a.m. Right at sunrise, I felt these warm-like hands on my body. I felt that was my Kūpuna.

But you know the first thing I felt? Guilt. Because I never called them before. I promised them at that moment that we'd never be a part. Since then, my Kūpuna have always been with me anywhere I go, a source of strength and guidance in all that I do.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

With your cross-cultural experiences and training, how do you support the youth of Liliʻuokalani Trust? 

I practice Hawaiian healing with a sprinkle of Western medicine. My mind shifts from the Western view of compartmentalized psychology to a Mauli Ola holistic view.

My LT teammates will tell you that 99% of my sessions don't take place indoors. We’re out in nature, and we're connecting (with the ʻāina/land).

The missing component of Western academia is spirituality — that Indigenous component. I find that Hoʻoponopono and Hawaiian ways work best with our LT youth. It lands. It's familiar to them because of their upbringing.

What is an example of when you would use a Hawaiian healing practice over clinical therapy?

Western academia teaches trauma-focused approaches, a therapeutic approach that specifically targets and addresses the impacts of a traumatic experience on a person’s mental and emotional well-being, using techniques designed to help individuals process and heal from the trauma, often including cognitive and behavioral strategies to manage related symptoms like intrusive thoughts or avoidance behaviors.

This approach is wonderfully informative, impactful, and effective but is missing key components for a Hawaiian’s healing, including spirituality, culture, and connection to ʻāina and our people. Hawaiian healing practices are not individualistic, and for us, trauma and healing affect more than just the individual. It affects all those around us, including our connections.

It all comes down to mana (energy/power). Healing will occur when our connections with the land, sea, the spiritual, our ʻohana and kūpuna, as well as ourselves, are pono (righteous/correct). We can preserve and generate mana through our choices in life, and this practice has become a focus in my work with kids. 

I connect kids to their culture during our sessions and provide social-emotional counseling. Nearly all of our sessions take place outside where we connect to different spaces, and often, we will do Hawaiian practices like crafting, planting, cleaning up shorelines, or just taking walks in wahi pana (special places) while we talk.

Lastly, there is generational mana in all of us, and helping to connect the kamaliʻi to their ancestors can be particularly healing, especially when working with children who are orphans. Discussing or doing the things that their ancestors used to do builds the connection to them and heals the child. This fulfills parts that have been yearning for closeness with the loved ones that have passed.

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

___________________________________________________________________________________________________

What is your hope for LT’s youth as you continue supporting them on Molokai?

My biggest hope and wish for our kamaliʻi is for them to find comfort and pride in who they are in their culture, and to believe in themselves. Even though a lot of our kamaliʻi have lost parents, or have become orphaned, I hope their relationships with those who have passed on, become very much alive. A source of strength. Not like, “I am at a disadvantage because Dad passed over because Mom passed over.”

For some kids whom I’ve had the honor of working with, that relationship turns into a strength when they can access their kūpuna anytime.

What inspires and motivates you at LT?

There had always been a need for me to serve, whether it came from the Army or before joining the military.

I left the military because of PTSD. And LT has been perfect. I feel so much more fulfilled in following the Queen, being a champion of the Queen, being in service to the Queen.

That soldier part of me gets fulfilled.

What really keeps me going is that I'm serving a cause greater than myself. At the end of my life, I can look back and say, “You did good, Sgt. Beair. You did good in the world.”

___________________________________________________________________________________________________