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Kaʻaiʻai Paglinawan calls herself an “unintended beneficiary” of Liliʻuokalani Trust.

As a child, she grew up surrounded by Social Workers and Cultural Practitioners who worked for the Trust. Her parents, Lynette and Richard “Likeke” Paglinawan, dedicated over 40 years of service to the Queen, and her hānai Tūtū Mary Kawena Pukui was a scholar and co-author of Nānā I Ke Kumu I and II. Her close family friends included Myron “Pinky” B. Thompson, for whom the UH School of Social Work is named; Masaru Oshiro, a social work pioneer and a former executive of the Trust; and Malia Craver, who delivered a notable speech at the United Nations while serving as a cultural consultant to the Trust.

Kaʻaiʻaʻi pursued a similar path. She is a Social Worker and a Hoʻopono  Practitioner for the Trust. Hoʻopono, a family-strengthening program derived from hoʻoponopono, is a Hawaiian method of restoring aloha, connection, and belonging in the home when there is pilikea (conflict).

With this knowledge passed down from her kūpuna, she has played an integral role in the creation of the Hoʻopono program at LT and is honored to share her knowledge with teammates and the Hawaiian families who seek guidance from the Trust.

We spoke with Kaʻaiʻai in the summer of 2024 about the Hoʻopono Program and the influence of her kūpuna on social work at the Trust.

Here are excerpts from her moʻolelo (story):

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In the 1960s, my father came to work at the Trust. At the time, it was known as the Queen Liliʻuokalani Children’s Center. He was recruited by Pinky Thompson, who was the Executive Director, as well as Malia Craver. He had a wonderful supervisor, Masaru Oshiro, a clinical social worker.

My Dad ended up on a case with a family who believed that a curse was placed upon them. As Western-trained social workers, they didn’t teach them about Hawaiian curses in university. Don’t forget, this was in the ’60s. Nobody talked like that except when you went to rural areas.

At the time, it seemed like the only option was to clinically diagnose the child. This meant putting labels on our Hawaiian children, and that's something they didn't like to do.

To seek another option, my Dad went to his Supervisor and asked, “What would you do?” With cultural humility, the Supervisor said, “I don’t know. What would you do?” My Dad said, “I would go talk to my Tūtū.” The Supervisor said, “Then go talk to your Tūtū.”

So, my Dad went to see my Tūtū Kawena for advice. By this time, she had already written the Polynesian family systems of Kaʻū and the Hawaiian Dictionary. Long story short, through consultation, my Dad was able to help the family understand that they did not have to make life choices based on a misinterpretation of a cultural practice.

Out of this case, formed a Culture Committee intended to provide clinical and cultural consultation for families.

Throughout the 1960s and 1970s, the Trust went through its own cultural renaissance. There were Hawaiian social workers here who realized that they didn't know their own culture as well as they thought, because they were raised in primarily urban settings and/or had academic training, which called for more Western thinking.

For 20 years, Tūtū continued her relationship with the Trust as the cultural consultant resulting in the publications of Nānā I Ke Kumu Volumes I and II. Tūtū was very cognizant when she moved to Honolulu from Kaʻu, Hawaiʻi Island, because she knew that not everybody did the same practice the same way. Cultural practices evolved with families and how they did things. It was this kind of thinking that helped workers to learn about the importance of culture in modern times.

The ultimate vision of Tūtū Kawena was to bring back Hoʻoponopono into the family and the legacy continues today through Ho’opono.

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A Legacy Across Generations

Growing up, my parents raised all of us this way. Hoʻoponopono was an automatic way of life, and I thought this was the way that all ‘ohana did things.

While at the University of Hawaiʻi, through a course project, I interviewed both Aunty Thelma Ulsh-Cotter and Aunty Malia Craver to learn about hoʻoponopono with youth individually and in groups. This was so different from how I knew to do hoʻoponopono.

Then, I took Aunty Malia’s Haku Hoʻoponopono Mentoring class way back in 2008. She charged us to leave a legacy. She told us, “Now you guys go and do.” Not only do I have the words ringing in my ears of what my parents and Tūtū told me, now I have Malia Craver’s direction.

In 2008, I did hoʻoponopono as part of grief programs to help our families come to some kind of resolution for unresolved grief.

In 2017, the Trust initiated an Innovation Lab where teammates were challenged to design new programs and with a team, we put forth Hoʻopono. Our executives Bob Ozaki and Nālei Akina helped us to move Hoʻopono forward to implement with families. Since then, we’ve been improving the program after each cohort, and continue to offer Hoʻopono as part of LT’s array of services.

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A means to heal generational wounds

I feel the Hoʻopono Program is the kuleana of the Trust. Liliʻuokalani Trust has a 20-year history of training Haku Hoʻoponopono, and Hoʻopono is how the legacy lives on. Ho’opono is a tool for families to resolve everyday problems because of the aloha that they continuously share with one another. Aloha is the basis of connection and belonging within families, and when they live in this way, they can prevent the deep hurts commonly experienced today. I see intergenerational strength. But you gotta choose to use hoʻopono.

A Tūtū forgives her grandson

In July 2024, we finished a virtual Hoʻopono Programn for all the LT families. By the end of the program, the kids were doing the opening and closing oli and pule (Hawaiian chant and blessing). The kids were showing us all the things that we shared with them, and we saw it right there on the screen. They would say, “Oh, grandma, sorry! Sorry, you forgive me?” And grandma would say, “Yes, yes.” So incredible. That’s the kind of moʻolelo I feel can be just as powerful as the quantitative results of our Hoʻopono Program.

 What kamaliʻi need to thrive

Times have changed and I’ve seen families change. Children are the same. They're inquisitive. They want love. They want hugs. They want acceptance. They want things. I also noticed a change in communication etiquette and socialization, which was revealed during the pandemic.

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Kuleana to the Queen

It goes back to what my Tūtū said: Ho’oponopono belongs in the family. You’re going out to help somebody, so you better not have your hand out, expecting something in return. What you get in return is aloha from that family.

I am just so grateful and so thankful for our Queen because she did it over and over. She composed a song about forgiving others for what they had done to her [Queen’s Prayer], which we sing today. What she did was unbelievable, a role model that I can only hope that I emulate, at least parts of her personality and her demeanor.

The Queen helped to raise me because my parents worked here. They received a paycheck from the same Queen that I work for today. I am an unintended beneficiary that will continue, hopefully, for the next 30 years. I keep on telling everybody I’m going to be like my mother Lynette and work until I’m 80. Just saying.

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ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

Hawaiian Solutions to Hawaiian Problems

How Social Work Changed Hawaiʻi

Nana I Ke Kumu, Volume 1, 1970. Co-authored by Kawena Pukui, E.W. Haertig, and Catherine A. Lee. (The topic of hoʻoponopono starts on page 60 of Volume 1.)